MOTHERHOOD

Push Presents

 

Do you know what kinda people don’t believe in “Push Presents”?  The women whose men weren’t smart enough to figure out that pushing a tiny human out of an even tinier hole merits a reward beyond stitches and scars. 

“But Sam, the baby is the present!”  Ummm NO!  No it’s not.   A baby is obviously the amazing result of procreating and child birth, but to me a present doesn’t and shouldn’t:

  1. Cost me money.  And guess what?  Babies cost a crap load of it.

  2. Spew bodily fluids on me.  It’s inevitable.

  3. Cause me pain.  Hello contractions and the entire birthing process.

  4. Make me bleed.  So much blood.

  5. Make me gain weight.  Unless it’s from chocolate & Ice cream…

  6. Be made by me.  I’m the one making and growing a human inside me.

  7. Involve work.  Children equals me working 24/7 for at least 18 years…

  8. Make me have to give up things I enjoy, like alcohol, sushi & wearing sky-high heels…

  9. Cause me to lose sleep for months, and possibly years. 

  10. Drive me totally insane on a daily basis, forever, probably.

You better believe Hubby got me a Push Present!   And guess what, having a high-risk, twin pregnancy, successfully carrying The Twincesses to full term, and having to be induced ‘cause the lil monsters wouldn’t get out on their own, means that this Mama got an extra special, shiny present.  And I freaking deserved it!  I was gifted a pink diamond ring and diamond band it was only sold as a set) because The Twincesses birth stone is pink.  Hubby is the kinda guy who believes in “go big or go home” when it comes to gift giving, so rather than get just their birthstone, he chose a pink diamond, with a white diamond for each of my girls on each side.  He picked out a beautiful and meaningful push present for me, and I looooove it!

Are you for or against Push Presents?  Tell me why in the comments!

Have a fabulous rest of your week!

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